


You Are Everything

by justahotmess



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dominant Kylo Ren, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I said slow burn, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Oral Sex, POV Third Person, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, turns out it wasn't that slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25285936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justahotmess/pseuds/justahotmess
Summary: For six years, Ava had been apart of a group that traded secrets to the highest bidder. For six years, she made sure to use a different name whenever she met someone, tried to hide her connect to the Force and tried to hide the fact she was trained by Luke Skywalker.But most of all, she tried to forget about the raven-haird Jedi that she once loved. Tried to forget that she never knew what happened to him.She won't have to forget about it for long.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Canto Bight was probably Ava’s favourite place. The golden city glimmered in her eyes, the lavishness of it all something she probably would never grow accustomed to. The wealth that these people who visited the casino and racetracks seemed immeasurable.

_Too much money and not enough sense._

She could still hear her fathers’ favourite phrase, even after all these years. She had grown up poor, the youngest of 4 children. All they had was the roof over their heads and love. Whenever members of richer backgrounds passed through their small village, her father would always mutter those words in her ear.

She always felt sorry for them, all that money in the world and yet they still looked miserable. And now she had turned into one.

If someone had told her six years ago that this is where she would end up, that she was part of a small organisation that traded secrets between plants, she would have laughed in their face. After all, those who train with the Jedi order stay with the Jedi order.

She still had nightmares about the fall of the Jedi Temple. She hadn’t been there for the destruction of it, having been away on a mission. When she returned, the flames had died out and all that remained were the bodies of her friends. She had searched through the rubble to find them all, wanting to give them a proper burial. All were accounted for apart from one.

Ben Solo.

 _Her_ Ben. At the time, she didn’t know what hurt her more: the fact that Ben was missing and probably dead, or that he could have been the one to cause all of this. Either way, the thought of both outcomes were enough to shatter her.

She had fled to Tatooine, content to live a life of solitude and sorrow. She had chosen it since it had been her masters homeworld. It felt almost poetic for her to spent the rest of her days there. But life had different plans for her.

She met a group of humans at the Mos Eisley cantina through sheer dumb luck. She had visited the cantina, needed a drink to help forget the nightmares that were sure to come that evening. She found herself at the receiving end of an old man’s attention, which resulted in her holding her lightsabre to his throat, threatening him with death if he tried anything else.

She had known then that she had ruined her cover. Everyone in that cantina knew she had trained as a Jedi, and that she was probably the only one left. She had tried to run, only to be stopped by the group of people who would soon become her family.

Milo, the ringleader, painted her a picture of a high-flying lifestyle, away from the degenerates that seemed to be pulled to Tatooine. All he needed was someone like her, a Force user. Someone who could read people’s minds and get them to confess anything.

Knowing she needed to escape Tatooine, and with no alternative, she readily accepted.

Six years later, and somehow, the group was still together, gathering secrets to pass on to whoever it benefitted, at a nice large sum of course. They had even gained recognition; senators, Commanders and Generals of various organisations and planets were more than happy to pay them a pretty penny for intel on their rivals.

Her role in the organisation was simple. She was pretty, gorgeous hair and deep eyes that people seemed to fall easily into whenever she spoke and maintained eye contact. A dazzling smile and a bright laugh that pulled everyone into her orbit. She had a charm about her that couldn’t simply be taught. Added to all of that was her power of the Force. She was an irreplaceable asset.

She was dressed in a stunning royal blue gown which was adorned all over with intricate silver beading that covered practically almost all of the dress. The dress was slightly sheer from the waist down, and every now and again there would be a glimpse of the outline of her leg as she walked. The matching royal blue satin cape billowed behind her as she walked, giving her an even more regal look.

But what truly completed her look was the mask she wore on her face. It covered her eyes, nose and part of her forehead, and was a darker blue to the rest of her dress. But it added to the allure of her.

She gripped onto Milo’s arm as they sauntered through the casino, turning heads as they went. This was the easy part, the build, the leadup. They managed to generate buzz and attention from everyone around them, yet still remain completely anonymous.

“So, who are we on the lookout for?” Ava asked as she maintained her smile while walking through the casino, her arm loosely wrapped around Milo’s.

“I don’t know his name, but I’m on the lookout for a tall man with red hair,” Milo replied as he scanned the room, seemingly agitated. “He’s the target with insider knowledge.”

Ava noticed the sweat on his brow as he walked alongside her, their steps falling in time. Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him, knowing something was wrong. “Is this man particularly dangerous? Are you worried he’ll figure me out?” she whispered in his ear. From the outside, it looked like a couple exchanging loving words, but it was far from that.

“No, don’t worry about it.” Milo smiled brightly, putting on a disguise that everything was fine. “I’m just a bit warm with all these layers on, that’s all. Why don’t you try and win us some money, eh? Put your _talents_ to good use?”

Ever since meeting, he had always tried to get Ava to use the Force for everyday tasks, or when the outcome of her using it would benefit them greatly. Such as gambling. But she never did. She was sensible. The entire Jedi temple had been destroyed, and along with it most of Luke Skywalker’s apprentices. She hadn’t actually ever used the Force since that day, not that she ever let Milo know. She continued to let him believe she could use it, and that she was using it, just to make sure she was completely indispensable.

She smiled softly as she let go of Milo’s arm, moving towards the nearest table and taking a seat which had just become free.

Milo never strayed too far away from Ava, sitting at a table just opposite her, keeping her in his sights. He did this mostly so if he spotted the target, he could easily grab her attention. But he also did it to make sure she would never run for it. She never did, she trusted him and their accomplices far too much. But he did it, just in case.

Ava sidled up to the short, stout man beside her, hanging on to his every word. She knew all of these people had an ego the size of a planet, and stroking their egos was the perfect way to blend it. She hated it, it made her feel cheap and dirty. But she did it. She did it for Milo.

She loved him, well as much as she could let herself love him. Her heart would always belong to the raven-haired Jedi who disappeared. The thought that he might still be alive kept her holding on. But the longer she went without finding any trace of him, the more she began to realise that maybe she should let go of him.

The deep rumbling of engines pulled Ava from her thoughts, and from the boring words of the man beside her. She turned her head, looking out of the doors of the casino and onto Canto Bight. Large ships descended from the sky.

First Order ships.

Ava threw a look over to Milo. The First Order were ruthless, everyone knew that. If they were here, and caught on to Milo and Ava’s plan, they’d most likely be shot on the spot. She knew they had to leave.

Making her apologies to the man beside her, she sauntered over to Milo, still maintaining grace and dignity. She wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned into him.

“What business do the First Order have here?” she whispered under her breath to Milo. The First Order being on Canto Bight was not going to help them gather their intel, especially when the intel they were set to gather was about the First Order themselves. No-one in their right mind would spill secrets about the First Order while Stormtroopers and generals loitered. Milo secured his own arm around her waist, giving it an affectionate squeeze.

“Relax, the plan will go ahead. We’ll just have to be a bit more careful.”

Ava wasn’t convinced. She remained by Milo’s side when a man stormed into the casino. He was tall and, more importantly, had bright red hair. “Milo, please don’t tell me that’s the man we’re supposed to target!” she seethed under her breath.

Targeting a member of the First Order for information on the First Order? She knew something was wrong. Her heart sank all the way to her stomach as she watched the man, flanked by two Stormtroopers holding blasters, walk straight towards were Milo and Ava stood. Ava stood up straight, moving just a fraction away from Milo, causing him to drop his hand from around her waist.

Standing directly in front of the pair, the red-haired man stared down at them both, a sly smirk on his face. “Well, well. Glad to see you stuck to your end of the bargain, Milo,” the man sneered, his eyes flicking between the man and the woman.

_Bargain?_

Ava inched further away from Milo again. Something was clearly wrong. She didn’t know what was going to happen, but she knew she needed to get out of there.

She turned and ran, using the Force to pull a casino table behind her, blocking Milo, the man and the Stormtroopers from grabbing her.

“GRAB HER!” The man’s voice ordered. She looked behind her. More Stormtroopers had now found their way into the casino, the hoard of them running after her, blasters firing in her direction. She yelped as she shoved her way through the crowd of people, ducking to avoid the blaster shots.

She spotted a corner up ahead which led down to a corridor. She hoped that this would be her chance to escape, or at least outrun the Stormtroopers. She picked up her pace and rounded the corner, only to stop dead in her tracks when another group of Stormtroopers came running towards her.

She froze.

There was nowhere to escape now. She was doomed.

The sound of footsteps and armour clanging together pulled her back to reality. She turned her head and saw the hoard of Stormtroopers, with the red-hair man directly behind them, all pointing their blasters at her. She raised her hands in surrender, her head hanging low as she reluctantly accepted her fate.

She clasped her wrists together and held them out for the red haired man. “What do you want with me? I’m nothing, I’m no-one.”

The man smirked as he fastened the cuffs around her wrists. “On the contrary, it seems you are _everything_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dress:https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jpRbOS_KU50/maxresdefault.jpg  
> Mask: https://i.etsystatic.com/8174729/r/il/49a391/551500924/il_570xN.551500924_o102.jpg


	2. Chapter Two

The journey to the _Finalizer_ for Ava went by in a blur. She didn’t remember stepping foot on to the ship that was to send her to her prison, she didn’t remember arriving at the base and she certainly didn’t remember being strapped to a chair in an interrogation room.

Her wrists hurt from being clamped in cuffs. Her feet ached from running away in heels. She felt sick to the stomach after a trip through hyperspace. But that wasn’t what hurt her the most. It was the betrayal by someone she trusted. Someone she loved.

_No, I don’t love him. Not in that way._

She sighed, letting her head hang back against the chair she was strapped to. She closed her eyes, as if trying to replay the events of the day in her head.

She wanted to know why.

Why did he betray her? Why did he give her away to the First Order? Why was she here?

Everything was muddled and confused in her mind. She felt like she was drowning, struggling to stay afloat as the water dragged her down into its murky depths. Panic started to sink in, her breath becoming harder and harder until all she could hear was the inhaling and exhaling of air.

Then it stopped.

She suddenly felt calm, her breathing returning to normal, her vision no longer cloudy, her mind clear. She opened her eyes. They settled on a hulking mass of black directly in front of her.

They were tall, exceptionally so. Covered head to toe in black, a mask covering their face. The only colour on the person was the silver detailing that decorated the eyes of the mask.

She knew instantly who he was. The infamous Commander Ren of the First Order. She had heard rumours of his intimidating stature, that he seemed to just radiate hatred and anger.

In person, it was far more terrifying.

She swallowed thickly; her eyes still train on the mask that covered his face. It was the mask that made him look completely menacing. No-one would ever know the expression on his face, never know when he was about to fly into a deep rage. And that was _terrifying_.

She didn’t know how long they were just there, staring at one another. It also seemed like the hulking mass was sizing her up, thinking about what he would do.

“Are you comfortable?”

The modulated voice of Commander Ren broke through the silence. She certainly hadn’t been expecting him to ask that.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not that the Commander could see that given the fact she was still wearing the lace mask.

“I’d be a lot more comfortable if I wasn’t handcuffed to an interrogation chair,” Ava bit back. She wanted off this ship. She didn’t know how long she had been there, but she had no intention of staying for much longer.

“Forgive me, it was a precaution, given the fact I am in the presence of an _incredibly powerful_ Force user.” His tone was mocking as he looked down at her, taking just a small step closer to her. “Well, that is what we were told. Your companion promised the First Order a powerful former Jedi. Sadly, I don’t seem to see one.”

She couldn’t see his face, but she could feel the smirk of his face. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists but remained silent, just staring at the blank, expressionless mask.

“Why was your companion so ready to get rid of you?”

The mention of Milo made her entire body deflate. Her teeth and fists unclenched, and her shoulders noticeably dropped.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. She could feel tears beginning to form, but she refused to let them fall. She refused to let herself cry in from of the Commander of the First Order. “Clearly I was no longer of use to him.”

She finally turned her gaze from the Commander, instead choosing to stare at the floor in front of her.

“Where did you get this?” Ren asked, completely diverting from his previous question. Ava snapped her head up, once again looking at him. She looked down at what he gripped firmly in his hands.

Her lightsaber.

“When did you take that? It’s mine!” She found herself trying to break free from the restraints. Ren ignited her lightsaber, the orange glow of it lighting through the interrogation room.

“A rare colour,” Ren commented as he deactivated the lightsaber. Ava sucked in a breath as she remembered the reasons behind choosing the bright orange colour.

At every sundown, Ava and Ben would meet under a large tree, completely concealed from the rest of their fellow apprentices. The orange hue reminded her of those moments, just as the sun was setting on the two of them, huddled together in each other’s embrace.

A stray tear rolled down her face at the memory of Ben.

Before she could even react, Ren had crossed the small distance between the two of them. His right hand came up, and his thumb gently brushed away the tear that continued to roll down her cheek. She shivered at the contact of the cold, leather glove on her cheek.

Confusion surged through her body at Ren’s gentle touch. This was _not_ the Commander of the First Order she had heard so much about.

She felt his hand move from her cheek to the back of her head, resting just above the bow that secured her mask to her face. Her breathing increased as she felt him pull at the satin fabric, the bow slowly unravelling. She knew the mask didn’t hide a lot of her face, but it was another layer of anonymity. It was another security blanket for her.

Ren pulled off the mask and stared down at her bare face. She tried to turn her face away from him, but he caught her chin with his finger, turning her head back to him.

He said nothing. He just stared at her, his finger remaining under her chin, not moving an inch.

“Tell me your name.” The muffled voice of the modulator cut through the air, slicing the tension in half. Ava thought about answering truthfully. Giving him her real name. This side of Commander Ren was so soft, it was unnerving. What did he want from her?

In the end, she lied. “Rena.”

A noise came from behind the mask, like a grunt of disapproval. He knew she was lying. His finger moved from her chin, making space for his thumb. His finger and thumb pinched at her slightly.

“Try again.”

“Suki.”

Another pinch, harder this time.

“Don’t. Lie. To. Me.”

His voice sent shivers down Ava’s spine. She stared deeply into where she believed his eyes to be, the narrow slits not showing her anything.

“Ava,” she gasped. “My name is Ava.”

Another small noise came from behind the mask as he dropped his fingers from her face. It sounded like a huff of amusement.

Suddenly, he turned his back, making his way towards the door to the interrogation room. Before she could stop herself, she shouted out, “wait!” The Commander paused; his head turned slightly to face her. “What do you want with me? Please just tell me. I-I have to know. I’m not anyone important, I’m not anything special. I just…I just want to go.” She could hear how her voice began to crack with emotion.

Slowly, Ren turned, facing her once again. She studied him as his hands began to move upwards, towards the sides of his masks. Locks clicked, and air hissed as the mouthpiece of his helmet moved, given Ren the room he needed to remove his mask.

Ava’s eyes widened and her heart pounded in her chest as her eyes fell onto a familiar face, a face she hadn’t seen for six years. The face belonging to a person she worried was dead.

He looked the same, hair slightly longer and eyes slightly harder. But it was him alright.

Her Ben.

His soft lips were set into a hard line as he looked at her. “You always did sell yourself short, Ava.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> [History and Fandoms](https://historyandfandoms50.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter Three

The air was thick with tension as Ava stared at Ben.

No. Not Ben.

Kylo Ren.

That’s who he was now. The man she had loved, had told her deepest secrets to, the man who held her and soothed her to sleep, was now the ruthless Commander of the First Order. How did she not see this side to him? Had everything they once had been a lie? Was she the reason he betrayed the Jedi Order and turned to the Dark Side?

There were so many unanswered questions that flicked through her mind, but her mouth couldn’t form the words to ask them.

She didn’t know what to feel. She was relieved, he was still alive, he hadn’t died along with everyone else. She was no longer the only former apprentice of Luke Skywalker, that feeling alone gave her some comfort.

But she was mad. Furious even. All these years he had been alive, and he hadn’t come for her. Hadn’t come and rescued her, take her away from the life she had been leading. He broke his promise to her, a promise they had made long ago under the tree on top of the hill.

_“Promise me we’ll always be together.”_

_“I promise.”_

The memory played in her mind, loud and clear enough for Kylo to have seen it. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her. He tried to take a step forward to her but was halted when Ava finally found her voice.

“Don’t.” Her voice was harsh and rough, the bubbling anger rising to the surface. “Don’t you even dare come any closer to me.”

Kylo nodded his head, taking a step back away from her. Neither of them said anything. She didn’t know what to say to him. She was so confused. The man she had fallen in love with was gone, but a man who shared his face stood in front of her, looking at her the same way Ben once did.

She wanted to hate him. She wanted to kick and scream and punch him until her throat was raw and her hands ached.

But she also wanted to run into his arms, throw her arms around his neck and hold on tight to him and never let him go.

It was tearing her apart. She had finally gotten what she had always wished for. She knew what happened to Ben, she knew he didn’t die all those years ago. He had survived and turned into Kylo Ren. Now that she knew the truth, she wished her questions had never been answered.

“Get out.” Ava finally whispered; her head turned away from him. She couldn’t look at him anymore. It was far too painful.

“Ava…”

“No. You don’t get to call me by my name anymore,” she seethed. “You don’t get to stand there after kidnapping me and handcuffing me to a chair and act like nothing has happened!”

“Technically, you were handed over to the First Ord-”

“I don’t care about technicalities!” Ava yelled, cutting off the end of Kylo’s sentence. “You _abandoned_ me! I came back after less than a day away, and all I see is fire, and smoke, and the dead bodies of _all_ my friends! And you! You were gone, not a trace of you _anywhere_.”

The tears fell freely down her face, but she didn’t care. She had nothing else to lose.

“Did you ever think about me?” Ava asked him, her voice calmer this time. She didn’t know if she wanted to know the answer or not. Would it make any difference?

It didn’t matter. Kylo just looked at her, saying nothing and looking stoic. She scoffed at him after a few minutes of silence. “Is the great Kylo Ren too good to answer questions? You haven’t answered anything since you put me in this damn chair.” Her gazed hardened as the tears dried on her face. “You’re nothing like the man I knew.”

“Good. He was weak, fickle,” Kylo finally spoke. He had inched closer to Ava, just a fraction. His eyes narrowed in anger, and his lips were pulled into a snarl as he continued. “You know _nothing_ of what happened that night, so don’t even _think_ about lecturing me on how _you_ feel betrayed!”

His face was inches away from her now, his back bent to reach down, so his face was level with hers. A gloved finger was pointed at her, jabbing in her direction every time he emphasised a word.

Ava sucked in a deep breath as she maintained eye contact with Ren. His face was so close to hers; she could feel his warm breath hitting her cheek. From this position, she didn’t know whether to kiss him or headbutt him.

But she knew he wasn’t wrong. She _didn’t_ know what happened that night, all she saw was the aftermath of what happened.

“Tell me,” Ava said softly, her lips barley moving. “Make me understand what happened that night.”

Kylo stared at her for what felt like an eternity, his eyes burning into her skin. Then, without warning, he turned his back to her and moved to the door. He placed his mask back on his head, hiding his face from her eyes once more.

Without a word, he left her there, alone once more.

She sighed heavily. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Ben Solo was truly gone, there was no hint of him there in his eyes. He was simply Kylo Ren. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, knowing that he would never been the man she knew.

Despite that, she still gravitated towards him. She wanted to take him back in her arms and never let him leave her again. She had gone six years without him, and now there he was, standing in front of her, alive and breathing.

If he would just tell her something, talk to her, make her understand what happened, then maybe she could forgive him. But given he hadn’t answered any of the questions she had already asked him, she wasn’t going to wait with bated breath.

Her eyelids began to feel heavy, the weight of the day beginning to wear down on her. She closed her eyes, letting sleep slowly take her.

\------------------------------------------------

She didn’t know how long she had been asleep for before she was abruptly woken by someone roughly shaking her awake. Her eyes flew open as she gasped, her eyes darting to the side to see who was shaking her so vigorously. Her eyes landed on a Stormtrooper, an expressionless mask leering down at her.

“I’ve been instructed to take you to your new room.”

Her brows knitted together in confusion. “My room?”

The Stormtrooper said nothing. It moved to the side of the control panel, instantly pressing a button. Her wrists were finally free from the tight constants of the metal. Ava hissed in pleasure as she rubbed her tender wrists, soothing the red marks that they now sported. The thumping of footsteps paired with the clattering of armour forced Ava to look to the Stormtrooper, who stalked over towards her and roughly grabbed her right arm. She yelped, her arm instinctively jerking away from the Stormtroopers rough grip.

“You don’t have to handle me like some kind of animal, I can walk unaided!” She continued to try and jostle her arm free, but the Stormtrooper maintained a firm grip.

The Stormtrooper practically dragged Ava through the ship and to her room, causing her to stumble every now and again due to the length of the dress and the height of the heels she wore on her feet. She hadn’t taken note of the direction she was going in, everything aboard the ship seemed to look the exact same. A cold grey, with various bright white lights as the only source of brightness was the décor for the First Order. It felt cold; almost prison like.

The Stormtrooper eventually stopped outside steel doors, once again decorated a cold grey colour, and pressed various numbers on the keypad beside it. The doors slid open with a loud _whoosh_ , presenting Ava with what she presumed to be her new room.

The First Order standard décor continued into her room, with accents of black on her bed. The room was grand, a sizable living space for someone who, not long ago, was cuffed to an interrogation chair.

A large bed was placed in the centre of the wall to the left with black bedding adorning it. A bedside table held a black lamp, and a black table decorated the space between the bed and the large floor to ceiling window that gazed out onto the vast expanse of space.

Something on the table caught Ava’s eyes. From a distance, she couldn’t quite make out what it was; as she got closer, she realised it was her lightsaber.

Ren had given it back to her, looking in a better condition than when she had it on Canto Bight.

_Did he clean this for me?_

Her brows knitted together as she inspected the immaculate weapon, her mind wandering as she inspected the sleek chrome finish.

A cough interrupted her thoughts. Whipping her whole body around, she realised that the Stormtrooper was still standing in the doorway, hovering and inspecting her every more.

“I’ve been instructed to tell you that Commander Ren would like to speak with you in his chambers at twenty one hundred hours, regarding your indefinite stay on the Finalizer.”

Her eyes widened, both at the fact Ren wanted to see her again but also at the notion he believed she would be staying her for the foreseeable future. A laugh managed to find its way out of her mouth. The only sign of confusion given by the Stormtrooper, was the slight tilt of the head, almost like an animal trying to listen more intently.

“You can tell the Commander, and I want you to tell him this word for word so memorise it,” Ava stated. She was done playing games. If he wanted to speak, Ren would have to come to her, and on her terms. “Tell the Commander, I will meet with him when he grows up and answers the questions I put forward to him during our last meeting. I will _not_ be meeting him in his chambers, if he’s so desperate to talk to me, he can come here and talk to me at twenty one hundred hours. I will not bend to the whims of the Commander of the First Order.”

Now, she waited. Waited to see if Kylo would come to her, and waited to see if she would finally, _finally_ , get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> [History and Fandoms](https://historyandfandoms50.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter Four

Ava stood in her room, dressed in a simple black fitted tank top and matching joggers, her royal blue dress long forgotten, hung in the wardrobe to probably never be used again. Her wardrobe was full of black clothing, from dresses and skirts, to bras and socks. There was hardly any colour to her wardrobe. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her midsection, almost as if she was hugging herself as she stared out into the dark void that was space. She had remembered years ago, how she longed to see the expanse of space, to explore new terrains and just see what space had to offer. Now she was here, she’d give anything to go back to a simpler time.

The time on her clock blinked 20:45, the bright red numbers slowly. It antagonised Ava. Every minute it counted down; she felt her heart rate increase. Her mind was running so fast, so many thoughts passing through her mind every second. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she told the Stormtrooper. She hadn’t heard anything since she sent the Stormtrooper away almost three hours ago. The uncertainty of everything was killing her; eating away at her.

All she wanted was answers. That was the least she deserved, she felt. Milo had handed her over to the First Order, _for some reason_. She was now being kept aboard the _Finalizer_ , _for some reason_. She was expected to stay indefinitely, _for some reason_. So many things didn’t make sense to her. All she wanted was to not be confused anymore.

Her eyes glanced back over to the clock, the time flashing 20:59. Had she really been standing and staring out of the window for fourteen minutes? Evidently, she had. Just as the clocked changed to 21:00, she let out the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. She believed, for just a moment, that he wasn’t coming and that maybe she had more time to clear her thoughts.

The sound of her room door opening, caused her to spin around, coming to face with Kylo Ren once again. The door closed with a loud CLANG.

Neither of them said anything; they just stared at one another. Ava could feel the anger radiating off him in waves.

“I see you got my message,” Ava said, trying to make sure her voice didn’t waver. She noticed that both of his fists began clenching and unclenching, a sign of his anger. She could practically hear his jaw clenching at her words.

“Yes,” Kylo’s deep voice echoed throughout the room, resonating through her bones. “Are you always going to be this difficult?”

“Until I get the answers I’m looking for, then yes I’m going to continue to be difficult.”

There were in a stand-off once again, neither of them wanting to give in. Eventually, Ava sighed, her arms hanging loose at her side. “All I want is to know why I’m here. That’s all I want to know.”

She was practically begging Ren, pleading with him to help her understand. That’s all she was asking for.

“You were handed over to the First Order, that’s all you need to know.”

“No, it isn’t.” Ava was more forceful this time, her stare penetrating into his mask. “Why was I handed over to the First Order and what do you gain from me being here?”

There was a moment of silence, before Ren took a deep breath. “Your accomplice, he reached out to us about a month ago. Said that he knew someone who was strong with the Force, and even had her own lightsaber. For a good price, he would hand you over to us.”

Ava nodded. So far, Kylo had given her no indication that he knew she had been alive these past six years. However, all the trust she had placed in Milo was vanquished, their time together had just been him building up to the moment he believed she would bring in enough revenue for him. She remained silent, letting him continue to tell her why she was still her.

“The Supreme Leader was elated. Having two strong Force users, both fully trained, would be a huge asset to the First Order. That’s why you’re still here, he intends for me to train you as my apprentice.”

“And if I refuse?”

“Don’t play dumb, Ava.”

Ava simply nodded her head. If she refused, well then, she could be disposed. While two Force users would be extremely beneficial, Kylo was strong enough on his own. Ava was just an added bonus in the eyes of the First Order.

“I knew it was you, before he even told us your name.”

At that, Ava’s eyes shot up towards the slits in his mask, trying to maintain as much eye contact as possible. “ _What_?” She seethed through gritted teeth. That stupid mask still hid his face from her so she couldn’t see his expression. Had he realised he made a mistake? Did Kylo want her to know that he knew she’d been alive? “How did you know it was me?” she asked him lowly. She was met with silence once again; his only reaction was the clenching of his fists. “Did you know I was alive?”

She could feel the tears prickling her eyes. If he had known she had been alive for all these years, then she finally had to admit to herself that he had willingly decided to not seek her out.

“Answer the question, Ren!” Ava shouted. She could feel the anger radiating through every part of her body as Kylo continued to dodge her question. “ _Did you know I was alive_?” She spoke slowly, emphasising every single word.

He gave his answer. A short, single worded answer that hit every fibre of her being.

“Yes.”

Ava felt as if her whole body had caved in on itself, reducing her to almost nothing. He had known. For the past six years, while she had to sit and imagine the worst possible scenario, he was living and breathing, and he _knew_.

She turned her back to him. She couldn’t look at him. Despite the fact he was still wearing that stupid mask, just knowing it was the man she had loved under there, it was too much.

“I did it to protect you, Ava. One day you’ll see. I couldn’t let Sno-”

“How?” Her voice sounded so small, so weak as she cut him off. But it was strong enough to make him stop and listen to her. She barely hear her own voice; she was so detached from reality and what was happening around her. She didn’t hear his heavy footsteps approach her, the hard leather boots hitting against the floor. She didn’t hear his mask hiss as he removed it from his head, his raven locks flowing free. She didn’t hear anything.

But she felt.

She felt his warm, calloused hand caress her shoulder, his thumb brushing backwards and forwards over her soft skin. She felt his breath on top of her head, the air causing stray hairs to move at the contact. She shivered at his touch, despite his warmth. She looked out to the window, seeing both of their reflections staring back at her. His entire body was pressed up against hers, crowding her as both of his gloveless hands ran up and down the full length of her arms.

“I searched for you,” Kylo’s voice broke through the deafening silence that had descended over the two of them. His voice was soft and gentle, completely different to how he sounded no more than five minutes ago. “When I realised what I had done, I ran to your hut. I ran into it, ignoring the fire that was spreading. I couldn’t see you, and I knew you weren’t there. I knew you weren’t there when it happened, which meant you were alive.” His lips descended to her head, resting gently at the back of her head as he spoke. Ava could see his reflection as he closed his eyes and gripped her arms just that little bit tighter. “You were safe.” His voice was barely above a whisper, his lips pressing ever so slightly to the back of her head, giving her the smallest of kisses.

Ava felt a stray tear run down her face. Her left hand came up and across her body, grasping at the hand that rested at the top of her right arm. She took his large hand in her small and dainty one, revelling in the feeling of his hand in hers once again. But that was long forgotten as she moved his hand away from her shoulder. “You might not have hurt me that night, but you’ve been hurting me ever since.”

Her voice was tight and hoarse. She felt Kylo stiffen behind her, his body becoming rigid. His left hand dropped from her left arm, and his stepped away from her, putting space between their bodies.

“I had my reasons.”

“I know. But it doesn’t hurt any less.” Ava paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. “I just…I just _wish_ you’d tell me what happened. I know why I’m here; I know what Snoke wants from me, I know where I fit into the First Order.” Ava turned to face Kylo once more, her arms crossed over her body, almost trying to shield herself. “But what I don’t know is how _you_ got here.”

She had always known about his struggles between Light and Dark. When it became common knowledge that Kylo was the grandson of Darth Vader, he had tried to push Ava away. She hadn’t let him of course; she was far too stubborn to let him do that. Ava thought he was okay, that he was managing it. They talked; they discussed their options. At one point they were going to run away together, abandon everything and just be together.

Then Luke sent her on a mission, without letting Kylo know. She couldn’t even say goodbye. The rest was history. She couldn’t have imagined what happened would have transpired less than twenty four hours later.

Without saying a word, Kylo took a step closer to her and gently pried her arms from around her body. He took her hands in his and slowly walked backwards towards her bed. She willingly followed. He sat down on top of the black bedding, leaving her standing between his legs. Slowly, he brought her hands up to his temples, pressing her hands ever so slightly into the skin. With a heavy sigh, he only said one word.

“Search.”

She looked deep into his eyes; eyes that, once upon a time, she fell so deeply into. Looking properly into them for the first time since she got her, she remembered how easy it was. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, searching through his mind.

Most of it was closed off to her, he was still only allowing her to see what he wanted to see. She saw them when they were children, running around and fighting one another with wooden lightsabers. She saw their first hug, the first time he helped her fall asleep, their first kiss and the first time they made love. A small blush rose to her cheeks as she quickly moved away from that memory, not wanting to linger on it too much.

When she finally found what she was looking for, she audibly gasped. She saw their master, Luke, standing over Kylo, lightsaber ignited and ready to strike him. She saw the look in Kylo’s eyes as he realised what his uncle was about to do. He was _terrified_. After everything he had been through, all the insecurities he had growing up, it was no wonder he was tipped over the edge.

The memory faded away into a new one. She saw Kylo running from his hut, his breath shaky and his eyes bloodshot. A deafening yell sounded from the memory. Lightning bore down from the skies, igniting everything in its wake. Ava focused on Kylo’s face, his expression changing from anger, to shock, to regret. The last word she heard him scream before she broke away from his memories was her name.

Ava sucked in a heavy breath as she tore her hands away from his temple. She felt his hands firmly on her waist, holding her up as she collapsed against his chest, her hands running through his hair in comfort. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry,” she whispered into his temple. She pressed a longing kiss there, almost as if she was healing him.

She understood. She finally had the answers she had been looking for.

She moved one hand down to cup his cheek, brushing her thumb back and forth over the smooth skin. Before she could even think about what she was saying, Ava’s mouth opened, “Ben…”

She instantly regretted it. The air became thick with tension. She felt his jaw tighten beneath her hand. Kylo practically shoved Ava from his arms, his helmet coming up and hiding his face from her. He stalked towards her door, his heavy footsteps echoing throughout the room. “Ky-”

Kylo sharply turned around to her, his index finger lifted in the air, signalling for her to stop talking. “Don’t.”

With his anger lingering in the air, Ava was left alone once more.


	5. Chapter Five

It had been two days since Kylo had left Ava in her room with a cloud of anger lingering over her. For two days she had been cooped up in her room with nothing to keep her entertained. The only other interaction she had was when a droid dropped her off some food at scheduled intervals during the day.

With nothing but her thoughts to keep her company, Ava’s mind regularly wandered back to the memories she saw in Kylo’s mind. Specifically, the one with Luke standing over him, lightsaber ignited. No wonder Ben turned to the Dark Side, she thought to herself.

Kylo had always confided in Ava about the relationship, or lack thereof, he had with his parents; particularly Han. The difficult relationship extended to Luke as well. Kylo, easily the strongest and most gifted of Luke’s apprentices, he never truly believed he was any good, not while Luke was constantly criticising him. For Luke to turn completely against him, it was unforgivable to Ava.

The more she thought about that memory, the angrier she became. It was festering away inside her, bubbling up to the surface every now and again. Over the last two days, several plates, three glasses and a bowl had been destroyed due to Ava lashing out and throwing the nearest thing at a wall. When the anger subsided, she simply cleared the mess away, hoping it wouldn’t happen again.

But it did.

She stood under the hot water of the shower, trying to calm herself and in her mind, wash away the anger that kept festering inside of her. But it wasn’t just Luke she was angry at. She was angry at herself. Even after Kylo showed her what had happened, showed her why he became who he was, she still called him Ben. It was a slip of the tongue, a momentary lapse of judgement. Ava had seen that he was no longer Ben Solo, the young Jedi apprentice she fell in love with. He was Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, and in all honestly, if he would let her, she’d fall helplessly in love all over again.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her bedroom door opening and closing. She knew lunch wasn’t due for another two hours, so she quickly shut off the shower, wrapped a towel around her body and exited her bedroom.

She stopped in the doorway between the bathroom and bedroom as she laid eyes on Kylo, dressed in his usual black outfit, mask covering his face. Her eyes widened slightly as she realised she was only in a towel, hair and body still wet from the shower. She noticed that his head moved, and she presumed his eyes were raking over her body behind the mask. She subconsciously wrapped the towel tighter round her body, clearing her throat as she tried to avoid looking directly at him.

“H-How can I help you?” She mentally kicked herself for stuttering, letting Kylo know the affect he had on her, just simply by standing in her room.

“The Supreme Leader requests your presence. Someone will be here to collect you in an hour.” His voice was monotonous, even with the modifier in his mask. His body language didn’t give Ava any hints as to what he was thinking.

Before Ava could respond, Kylo had turned and had begun to walk away. “Kylo, wait!” She tried to stop him, but he ignored her, continuing to walk out of her room and away from her.

She let out a groan of frustration, her hand coming up to drag through her wet hair. She wanted to scream. She knew she had messed up by calling him Ben, that fact wasn’t lost on her. But if he would just _listen_ , all she wanted to do was apologise. To let him know she was staying here for him, as Kylo and _not_ as Ben.

Resigning to the fact that Kylo would not be speaking to her anytime soon, Ava decided the only thing she could do in that moment was get ready for her meeting with the Supreme Leader. A chill shot through her body as she remembered what Kylo had told her only two days ago.

_“I did it to protect you, Ava. One day you’ll see. I couldn’t let Sno-”_

She knew the end of that sentence was the name _Snoke_. Once upon a time, Kylo had wanted to protect her from him, that was the reason he hadn’t gone searching for her. But now, he came to her room, delivering the news that the Supreme Leader now wanted to talk to her. Ava had heard whispers about the Supreme Leader of the First Order, how he was dark and twisted, _deformed_ even. No-one had anything good to say about him. Suffice to say, she was terrified.

She knew why he wanted to talk to her, Milo had secured that much for her. But the full details still wandered through her mind. Would he make his apprentice? Would she train once again, but this time under Kylo? Would Snoke just simply kill her?

No, Snoke wouldn’t kill her. Kylo wouldn’t allow that. Wouldn’t he? She thought to herself. There was no doubt in her mind that she still loved Kylo, even after everything. For the past six years she had been holding on to him, not letting him go. Maybe that was why Milo finally gave her away; he loved her, but she could never love him in return. At least, not in the way Milo wanted.

Ava shook her head of all the thoughts from her past, and the thoughts of her future. She walked over to her walk-in wardrobe, hands carding through the vast amount of black clothing. She eventually settled on a long sleeved t-shirt, black fitted trousers and black boots. She threw her now dried hair into a ponytail, keeping it off of her face.

All she could do was wait until her dreaded meeting.

\------------------------------------------------

Half an hour later, she heard a knocking on her door. Her heart began to beat faster, hoping that it was Kylo. She hoped it would be him taking her to the Supreme Leader, Ava knew that him just being there, even if he didn’t want to talk to her, would help calm her nerves.

Ava practically ran over to the door, opening it as quickly as she could. Instead of Kylo greeting her, it was the red-haired man who had taken her from Canto Bight. Her face visibly dropped, her lips falling into a hard line. “Why are _you_ here?” she hissed.

“I wouldn’t take that tone with me,” he sneered back at her. “Now hurry up! The Supreme Leader does not like to be kept waiting.” He turned from her and began walking away.

“Then maybe you should have collected me earlier, seems like a mistake on your part.” The red-haired man snapped back around, his eyes blaring with anger. He lifted a finger to her face, jabbing it in her direction.

“I _don’t_ make mistakes!” Ava simply stared at the man in front of her, not backing down.

The rest of the walk was continued in silence, neither one of them speaking but both clearly seething in anger. The walk in itself didn’t take long, it just seemed longer to Ava given the company she had. Once she finally reached her destination, the red-haired man opened a door which led into a dark room. From what she could see, no-one was in there. She felt the man shove her into the room; she almost feel as he did. With one last vile smile from the man, the silver doors shut with a terrifying _clang_!

“No let me out!” Ava screamed, her fists pounding on the door frantically. She could feel bruises forming on her hands as she continued to pound the door, begging for someone to let her out.

“ _Ava…”_

A rough voice called out to her, halting her actions. The voice hit deep in her bones, rattling her to the very core. She didn’t turn around. _Couldn’t_ turn around. She could hear how heavy and quick her breathing was.

“Look at me!” The bellowing of the Supreme Leader’s voice caused her to gasp and jump, quickly turning around to lay her eyes, finally, on the Supreme Leader. Or at least, a hologram of him.

She tried to hide the grimace that graced her face. He certainly was deformed. Most of his left cheek was missing, and a slice from the top of his head to the centre of his forehead practically cut him in half. The hologram made him seem like a giant, and her a tiny insect. She seemed inconsequential under his gaze, something he could easily crush under his boot.

“Ah…so this is the _girl_ that Kylo Ren has been hiding from me all these years.” Ava’s jaw tightened as she clenched her teeth at being called a girl. She was only two years younger than Kylo, hardly a child.

“You are strong with the Force…how did I never see you? All those years you were _right_ _there_ …” His words continued to sicken Ava. His words paired with the leering of Snoke rattled her to her very core. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one she hoped would soon end. “Why didn’t he kill you? He killed everyone else, yet you were spared. _Why?!_ ”

“I wasn’t there that night; I’d been sent on a mission. I was off of the planet. I came back to the destruction that Kylo had left behind.” She could hear how terrified her voice sounded; it practically shook with nerves.

“I wanted to have you killed when your friend sent word that he knew a Force-sensitive _girl_. Kylo even agreed. Then he saw your _face_ and your _name,_ and he turned back into that weak and feeble _boy_ that I had to save!” Snoke’s voice echoed throughout the room, causing Ava to jump. She now realised she was only alive because of Kylo. “He said you were strong, only second to him when you trained together. I don’t believe you are…Affection clouds his judgement…what clouds _yours?_ ”

She was confused by his riddles, the furrow in her brow highlighting to Snoke that she didn’t understand. “You love him. The monster in a mask, a murderer. You _love_ him…”

Before she could rebuff his accusations, her body was hit was a white hot searing pain. Images flashed through her mind, but they all had the same outcome.

Kylo laying dead at her feet.

She was there, seeing herself standing above Kylo, a red lightsaber in her right hand pointing down at his body and a sly smirk on her face. Snoke’s hand rested on her shoulder.

 _“Well done, Ava.”_ The image of Snoke said.

 _“Thank you, Master_.”

She screamed out loud, begging for Snoke to stop. She screamed for Kylo, willing him to not be dead.

“Just think how _powerful_ you could be if you let go of love and fill your heart with _rage!_ The same rage you feel whenever you replay Skywalker trying to kill Ren, the same rage you felt when you realised he wasn’t going to come back to you!”

Images and scenarios continued to flash through her mind as Snoke spoke, different people killing Kylo each time. One time it was Snoke, another it was the red-haired man. But in each case, Ava was stood beside them, smiling down at the dead body of Kylo.

“Never!” She screamed back to Snoke. Despite all the anger, and all the rage she had within her, nothing would ever stop her from loving Kylo.

The pain finally went away, and Ava stopped writhing in agony. Tears streamed down her face at the pain and images that flashed through her mind. She was practically curled up in a ball at the feet of Snoke’s hologram. He leered down at her. “Ha! _Sentiment_ …” Snoke sneered down at her, his face contorting into a disgusting smirk. “That shall be your downfall.” He flicked his wrist and Ava found herself on her feet once again. “You begin your training tomorrow.”

With nothing else to be said, he disappeared. Ava wiped her sleeves on her face, getting rid of the wetness that clung to her skin. She couldn’t hide the other signs of her tears; the bloodshot and puffy eyes were a dead giveaway.

The metal doors behind her opened with a _whoosh_ , followed by heavy footsteps. Ava remained stilled in the position Snoke left her in, her eyes staring blankly ahead. She couldn’t give that red-haired menace the pleasure of seeing her already broken by Snoke.

A large hand caressing her shoulder caused her to snap her body around.

Kylo.

After what she had seen, she couldn’t help but throw herself into his chest, arms wrapping around his waist, pressing her entire body into his. She needed to _feel_ him, know that he was there, that it wasn’t just another cruel image from Snoke. She could hear his heartbeat, and Ava smiled softly as she heard it speed up ever so slightly as she wrapped her arms tighter around him.

She felt his arms lifting beside her, and she frowned, knowing that he would probably push her away, still angry at her for the other day. To her surprise, his large arms wrapped around her frame, tugging her ever so slightly closer to his body. She let out the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.

“You saved me,” Ava mumbled into his chest. “Snoke wanted me dead, and you stopped him.” Kylo said nothing in return, which didn’t surprise her at this point. She was just thankful he hadn’t pushed her away.

Eventually, they had to realise one another from the embrace. “Snoke wants me to train, beginning tomorrow. Will you be the one to train me?” Ava asked, her eyes practically pleading with him to say yes.

“I will,” he replied, causing Ava’s heart to soar in her chest. A small smile found it’s way to her face. “But there’s things we still need to discuss.” He stepped away from her and began to walk back to the door. “Follow me.”


	6. Chapter Six

Before she realised what was happening, she was suspended in the air, Kylo’s hands firmly on her thighs with his fingers digging slightly into her flesh. Ava wrapped her legs around his waist just as Kylo’s lips fell back onto hers.

This kiss was different from the first. It was harsh and passionate, full of longing, desperation and desire. His tongue slid effortlessly into her mouth, deepening their kiss. Kylo walked them back over to his bed, placing Ava gently down on the soft mattress.

His hands ran all over her body as he continued to kiss her, trailing his fingers along her thighs, her hips, her ribs and breasts. He gave her breasts an affectionate squeeze over her top, causing Ava to moan into his mouth. She could feel his smirk against her mouth.

Ava went to fully wrap her arms around his neck, trying to keep him close but Kylo had other ideas. He broke their kiss, and moved his body away from hers, causing Ava to whine slightly at the missing contact. He knelt over her; her legs still firmly wrapped around his waist. He stared down at her, marvelling at her beauty, at her spread before him once again. “This is a sight I’ve certainly missed,” he mused as he ran his fingertips down her sides, stopping at the bottom of her black top.

He looked into her eyes, silently asking her if what he was doing was okay. With a nod of her head, Kylo quickly removed Ava’s top from her body, throwing it to the side haphazardly. His eyes zoned on to her bra-covered breasts, his mouth practically watering at the sight before him. He squeezed both of them again in his large hands, a loud moan falling from Ava’s lips.

Overcome with desire, he yanked down the cup of the bra, causing her breasts to spill out. He quickly bent his head down, latching his lips onto her right nipple, while he hand caressed and teased the other one. Ava’s gasp quickly turned into a moan as she raced her fingers through Kylo’s hair, her back arching as his tongue lavished her nipple.

She felt an ache between her thighs that she hadn’t felt in so long. She whined for him as she felt his lips move from her chest and down her stomach, sucking and biting marks into her skin. “Kylo…” she moaned his name just as he hands came to rest on the waistband of her trousers. She quickly toed off her boots, not wanting to halt his movements. Kylo smirked up at her as he slowly undid the button, and painfully slowly pulled down the zip. She simply groaned in frustration.

Instead of waiting, Kylo yanked down her trousers in one swift motion, leaving her in just her black panties on his bed. He burned the visual before him into his memory; Ava sprawled out beneath him, her chest rising and falling rapidly, looking gorgeously dishevelled. He was snapped from his thoughts as Ava rose to her knees on the bed, quickly removing her bra from her body and letting her breasts finally be free from the confines of the bra. “You are wearing far too many clothes,” she whispered, her hands latching onto the outermost part of his outfit.

His hands wound themselves in her hair, gently massaging her scalp affectionately as she removed every item of clothing. He could sense her growing frustration as she removed one article of clothing, only to be met with another. “Gods, this is ridiculous,” she muttered, causing him to chuckle. He pressed his lips to her forehead, his hands moving from the back of her hand and onto the sides of her neck. He tilted her head to make her look up at him; and pressed his lips against hers in another loving kiss.

Ava moaned softly, her hands moving with more confidence. When she finally reached the last layer on his top half, she smirked at the feeling of his body beneath the soft tunic. Breaking the kiss, she reached for the hem and swiftly lifted it off his body.

Her eyes widened with lust. She realised he was much broader than when she last saw him, and seeing his bare chest and torso only confirmed that. Ava bit her bottom lip as she trailed her fingers over his body, completely in awe at how strong and wide he actually was. She noticed scars that wasn’t on his body before, and she kissed each one of them. She noticed Kylo stilled when she leaned forward to kiss a scar, but immediately relaxed when he felt her soft lips against his skin.

Ava’s lips continued a similar path to what Kylo’s had with her. She reached the waistband of his trousers and smirked at the tented fabric. She ran her right hand over the hardened bulge; a moan rumbled from Kylo’s chest as he bucked his hips into her hand. Her mouth descended to the fabric, placing light kisses along the same path her hand took. Kylo growled as he stepped away from her, throwing off his own boots; trousers quickly following.

Before Ava could even move, Kylo was back on her, pinning her body below his. “You are such a minx, you never used to be like this,” he growled huskily in her ear, his teeth coming down to nip at the lobe. She groaned and raised his hips, searching for some kind of friction, something to help ease the ache that was growing inside her. Ava could feel Kylo smirk against her neck as he ground his cock to her, giving her clit the delicious friction that she needed. “You’re so _wet_ for me, Ava.” His baritone voice resonated throughout her whole body, pulling another loud moan from her.

His right hand went down to cup her over her panties with his middle finger slowly running up and down her slit and catching her clit lightly. Moans fell from Ava’s mouth as she bucked her hips in his hand, searching for more than just the light touches he was giving her. “Please Kylo…” she begged him.

“Tell me what you want,” he replied as his nipped and kissed at her neck. “What do you want me to do, darling?”

This was new, she thought as she moaned at the pet name he gave her. “I want…I want your f-fingers on me…p-please,” she panted out. Kylo pulled her into a searing kiss before tearing her panties clean in half. Before Ava could even scald him, his middle finger that had previously teased her began to circle her clit. Her back arched off the bed as a long moan fell from her mouth. “Yes…right there…” she breathed, her eyes closing shut in pleasure.

Ava felt the bed dip near her legs, and the wonderful pleasure she felt went away as Kylo removed his finger from her clit. She groaned in frustration, her eyes opening to see Kylo between her thighs, he eyes black with lust. He gripped both of her thighs in his hands, fingers digging into the flesh and probably causing bruises, but she didn’t care. He pried her thighs apart, his eyes settling on the wetness between them. Ava’s chest heaved and her heart thumped in her chest as she looked at Kylo looking at her. He leant down and began pressing open mouthed kisses to her thighs, and every now and again, he would nip at the skin, leaving marks as he went.

Kylo looked up at Ava, panting heavily with lust blown eyes. Not taking his eyes off her, his tongue darted out, licking her from her entrance to her clit, swirling his tongue around it. “Ffffuck….” She breathed out as her head fell back against the pillows. His hand slapped the outside of her thigh, causing a jolt of pleasure to go straight to her cunt.

“Eyes on me, darling. Otherwise I stop,” he ordered, causing her to clench at his words. He dove straight back in, devouring her cunt as if it was his last meal. Moans fell from her mouth, and they only got louder when he inserted a finger into her. “You’re so _tight_ , darling. Gods, I’ve missed this,” he groaned into her, sending vibrations straight to her clit. He alternated between sucking and licking her clit, as he steadily pumped his finger in and out of her.

She did as he told her, her eyes never leaving him as she watched him. Her hands tangled through his hair, tugging every time he sucked, licked or caught a spot that sent pleasure straight through her. He added another finger into her, stretching her out and preparing her for him. “You’re so good, darling,” he praised her, giving her clit another hard suck. Her hips bucked up to him, practically grinding on his face. “Are you going to come for me, darling?” he groaned into her cunt, his eyes locking onto hers. She nodded quickly as she felt that familiar coiling tightening inside her.

“Yes! Fuck Kylo, I’m going to cum…please, please, please let me cum!” she babbled, her mouth dropping to her chest as Kylo sucked her clit, and his fingers pumped in an out of her, curling them against that _delicious_ spot inside of her. She moaned loudly as the coil finally snapped, her cunt clenching around his fingers. She couldn’t help but let her eyes shut as her orgasm took over her, not that Kylo minded.

He watched her, his mouth and fingers not stopping as she rode out her orgasm. Her body trembled beneath him as he finally came to a stop, slowly pulling his fingers from her. He kissed up her body, while his hands simultaneously caressed her sides. He pulled her in for a deep kiss, his tongue findings its way into her mouth.

She could taste herself on him, but she didn’t care. She wrapped her legs around his waist, while her arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him as close to her as she could. She could feel his hard cock pressed against thigh, and she trailed her hand down, reaching into her black boxers to stroke him. A groan erupted from Kylo’s throat, his lips breaking from hers as he looked down at her hand stroking him beneath his underwear.

He tugged at his boxers, causing Ava’s hand to pull away from him. He pulled them off himself, leaving him fully bare as she was. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes zeroed in on his cock. He was painfully hard, his tip red and leaking pre-come down his shaft. She hadn’t forgotten how big he was, how slowly they had to go the first time due to his size. Her cunt clenched around nothing at the thought of being completely full of him.

Kylo’s hand fell to his cock, stroking himself as he looked down at her gorgeous body. “Is this what you want, darling?”

“Yes, please Kylo…I need you…” He lent over her, kissing her passionately once again as he slowly sank into her, both of them groaning into one another’s mouths as he bottomed out completely.

Kylo buried his face into Ava’s neck, kissing and biting up and down it as her gripped him tightly. He stayed still for a minute, letting her adjust to him. “Please move, don’t hold back,” she moaned softly in his ear, causing him to practically shudder. He threw her legs around his waist, both hands digging into her hips to keep her steady.

He pulled back before quickly snapping his hips to hers in a hard thrust, both of them moaning at the sensation. He picked up his pace, thrusting hard, fast and deep into her. Moans tumbled from both of their lips. “You feel so good, darling. You’re taking me so well,” he praised, pressing kissing to her cheeks and lips as he continued to thrust into her.

“Please Kylo, faster…I can take it…fuck you feel so good! I’ve missed you, please, please go faster…” Ava responded, her nails piercing into the skin on his shoulders, leaving crescent shaped marks. He couldn’t ignore her, not when she asked so nicely. He picked up his pace, practically ramming into her. The bed shook beneath them, the headboard banging against the wall.

Kylo moved one of his hands from hips and to her mound, his thumb flicking back and forth over her clit. Already sensitive from her previous orgasm, she bucked her hips and clenched around him, causing a low groan followed by a “fuck!” to escape from Kylo’s mouth. She was nearing her peak; she could feel it.

“Fuck Kylo! I’m going to cum!” she cried out as her nails raked down his back, leaving red marks behind.

“Scream my name when you come for me, darling. Let everyone know who makes you feel like this,” he grunted out. He was nearing his own orgasm, but he needed her to come once more before he could find his release.

His words, coupled with the thumb on her clit and his cock hitting that special spot inside her that made her see stars, she felt her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave, her whole shaking in pleasure.

“KYLO!” Ava did as he asked, screaming out his name as her orgasm hit her. She clenched tightly around him, setting off Kylo’s own orgasm.

“Fuck! Ava! Fuck!” He grunted through gritted teeth, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself inside of her. Her legs fell limp against the mattress and Kylo’s arms wrapped around her body, keeping her as close to him as he possibly could.

All that sounded throughout the room was the sound of their heavy breathing. Kylo ran a hand through Ava’s hair, pushing back the strands that stuck to her sweat covered forehead. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. “Ava…” he whispered softly. His hand cradled the back of her head as he kissed her again.

Kylo slowly pulled out of her and fell to the side of her. He pulled her body close to his, their chests touching as their breathing gradually slowed down. “Have I redeemed myself?” he cheekily asked after a moments silence, a small teasing smirk playing on his face.

Ava couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head as she wound her arms around his torso. “Fully redeemed,” she told him. “Where’s your refresher?” she asked softly. He pointed in direction of the refresher. She quickly jumped up from the bed and hobbled over to it.

She was only gone for a few minutes but Kylo still let out a huge sigh of relief when she finally came back, wrapping herself around him once again. Kylo pulled her left leg over the top of his right hip, remembering how she always seemed to sleep with a leg bent. She laughed softly, placing a small kiss on his jaw. Her eyes felt heavy, as sleep began to consume her. Her day had been long and tiring, and it had finally caught up with her. “Sleep, darling. I’ll be right here,” Kylo whispered into the top of her head. He wrapped his arms around her waist and back, pining her to his side as sleep began to consume them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it would be a slow burn...but I felt five chapters was slow enough. Hope you all enjoyed it! 
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos and lovely comments everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> [History and Fandoms](https://historyandfandoms50.tumblr.com/)


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